The Pen Name

I am Sanjay, age 45. I am writing this because everything is going awkward now days. It’s turmoil phase of my life.

We are three children to our parents. Elder sister Surekha, me and younger brother Shyam. Due to a small fight during our teenage time, we became separate. After marriage, we went both physically and mentally far apart (parents came with me). I never tried to know what they were doing. Time rolled. My parents passed away 5 years ago. The funeral was the last time I saw my siblings. Things were ‘normal’ without their memory.

Jimmy Wales' advice to young generation

"I think one of the most important pieces of advice I can give young people is that you should try to arrange your life in such a fashion that you minimize your consumption expenses as much as is practical so that you take on as little debt as possible.


Why?


If you want to do something interesting with your life, you will need a certain degree of financial independence, by which I mean, the ability to make choices without thinking about the immediate money involved.
Let's say you start your first job and immediately make various spending choices to spend all or most of your paycheck, going into debt to do it.  A popular way to do this is to buy a car and rent a nice apartment.  Now, 6 months later when your boss is a jerk and you wish to change jobs, you've got a big problem.
Consumption spending (as opposed to investment spending) is mostly not required by income.  In some cases (need to see clients, etc.) you'll need to have some consumption spending of course (nice clothes for business).  I'm not talking about that - that's a business expense.  Keep it under control of course, but that's not my point.
For those who see things better with numbers attached, consider it this way.  Suppose you want to have enough money to be able to take 1 year off from working, and you want to maintain your lifestyle during that year.  How does adjusting your consumption requirements help with that?  Assume you start with zero savings.  Assume for simplicity that you can find safe investments to match the inflation rate... although that's pretty optimistic!


If you spend 5% less than you earn, then it will take you 20 years to save up one year's salary.  That's never going to work because in 20 years time your life will change completely, you'll probably get married and have children.  And who wants to wait 20 years to take a year off to pursue a dream?
If you spend 50% less than you earn, then it will only take you two years.  Much better.
But look!  There's a mistake in the above reasoning, and this is the thing I want you to notice.  You aren't trying to save up "one years salary" but rather trying to save up "one year's expenses".


So if you spend 5% less than you earn, then it will only take you 19 years to get that year of freedom.  (Because you only need to save 95% of your salary!)
And if you spend 50% less than you earn, then it will only take you 1 year (not 2!) to get that year of freedom, because your expenses are lower.


Reducing your mental expectations of what you need to spend to be happy therefore has two beneficial effects: you end up saving more money, and that saved money ends up lasting longer.


Now for most of the young people who will be reading this, the ultimate goal will not be to accept a reduced lifestyle forever.  But if you really want to hit it big, this technique gives you the time you need to give it a shot."

How to change your attitude

John N. Mitchell said it best when he said that, “Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” We’ve all heard about the power of our attitude, and that it’s our attitude that determines how much we succeed in life.

You cant actually change your completely without much willpower, determination, patience and it requires hard work ,time and practice.In this context it is better to say correct you attitude or make it better.

Follow these few steps:

1. Stop focusing on yourself. A lot of pessimism arises from false or unreasonable expectations, especially when those expectations involve yourself.
2. Face your flaws. We all  have something upon which we can improve, so whether you're at work, at  home, or anywhere else, be open to learning more.
3. Look on the bright side.  In every undesirable circumstance, there is always a way to look on the  brighter side. This isn't to say that you should live your life  dishonestly, always ignoring the bad in favor of a fake smile. Instead,  accept the bad things but also think about how much worse it could have  been.
4. Befriend optimistic people. Sometimes a poor attitude  is a result of being surrounded by others with poor attitudes. As it  has been said, "Bad company corrupts good character." Consider  befriending new people, especially people who are optimistic and have a  healthy attitude towards life.
5. Identify and understand what you want to change.
   The first step towards change is clearly understanding what needs to be changed. Setting clear goals is the key to success in any endeavor. When it comes to changing your attitude, you need to  do an honest and in-depth self-evaluation so you could point out exactly  which of your traits need to be improved or totally changed.
6. Look for a role model.
   We all need to know that what we’re trying to accomplish  can in fact be achieved; that we can be more optimistic, more social or  more patient. Find someone who has the kind of attitude that you want to  have, and let his or her life give you inspiration and encouragement to  move beyond your temporary failures in your journey towards becoming a  better person
7. Think about how your attitude change will affect your life.
   To be able to hurtle through all the difficulties that lie  ahead of you in your journey towards self betterment, you need to figure  out exactly what this supposed change could bring to your life. Will  changing your attitude mean a happier family or social life? Will a  change in your attitude mean a more successful career or business? Fix  your mind on the things that would come as a result of your attitude  change and you will have a greater chance of reaching your goal.
8. Believe that you are able to change.
   Often, the greatest obstacle between us and our goals is  ourselves or our inability to trust in what we are able to do. If you  don’t believe in yourself or believe that you or your life can change,  it just won’t happen—you will either never start, or give up quickly so  you won’t  have even given yourself the opportunity to succeed.
9. Watch TED videos for motivation.
10. Realize optimism is a choice.
     You are  not born with a positive or negative attitude. It is something you  become through your perspective of experiences. Very few situations are  completely bad. Always try to come up with three to five positives of any challenging situation and write them down so you can remember them.